Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
