Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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