Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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