i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
