your thong is hanging out like whoa
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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