my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I will be naked everywhere
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
