Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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