love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
