the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I think i got beer on your cat.
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