i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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