Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
