Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Randomize
