I bet he comes in French.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
