You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
