I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize