so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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