i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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