no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize