He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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