Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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