the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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