I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
