my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
