at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize