btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
