White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Randomize
