I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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