ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Dear god my vagina.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize