no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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