Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
