dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
