just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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