I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
