I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
