i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
