I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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