Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
