She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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