I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
