Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Randomize
