recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
