Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
