Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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