So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
