I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
