he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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