if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
