She said her name was "party"
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
