You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I have post one night stand depression
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
