I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I love having hate sex.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
