At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
it was like having sex with a tree stump
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
