I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
