please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
