To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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