So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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