After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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