How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
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