You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
