I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
4 words: hood of his car
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
