Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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