Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
