and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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