i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
