This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
