omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
