ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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