it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
this just has baby written all over it
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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