I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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