you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
