The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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