My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
